


Mourning on the mountain

by Jamilton_and_Lams



Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi
Genre: All other characters mentioned and/or implied, And cssr, And daoren, And xxc, Baoshan Sanren POV, Death, F/M, Fire, Flower Language, Gen, Grief, Hope, Immortality, M/M, Mourning, No Beta, Reincarnation, achieving immortality, curse vs bad luck, fields of flowers fields of ash, flower symbolisim, the mountain, we die like wei ying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:00:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21524857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jamilton_and_Lams/pseuds/Jamilton_and_Lams
Summary: Time moves differently on the mountain.She wasn’t sure how different it was but when her disciples asked she told them the truth.“If you leave down the mountain, you will be dead and buried by the time the next leaves.”But not the whole truth.'Immortality comes with a price payed in blood. The gods can’t touch you here but if you leave i cant protect you from them. They will reap the youth from you. That is my punishment.'Aka: BSSR watches her disciples leave knowing she'll never see then again. In rememberence she lights a candle and the mountain blooms
Relationships: Bàoshān Sǎnrén & Cángsè Sǎnrén, Bàoshān Sǎnrén & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Bàoshān Sǎnrén & Yānlíng Dàorén, Cángsè Sǎnrén & Wèi Chǎngzé & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Cángsè Sǎnrén & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Cángsè Sǎnrén/Wèi Chǎngzé, Lán Yuàn | Lán Sīzhuī & Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Lán Yuàn | Lán Sīzhuī & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Sòng Lán | Sòng Zǐchēn & Xiǎo Xīngchén, Xiǎo Xīngchén & Bàoshān sànrén, Xiǎo Xīngchén & Xuē Yáng | Xuē Chéngměi, Ā-Qìng & Xiǎo Xīngchén
Comments: 18
Kudos: 133





	Mourning on the mountain

**Author's Note:**

> This was a random thought I had a few hours ago. hope y'all enjoy xx

Time moves differently on the mountain. 

She wasn’t sure how different it was but when her disciples asked she told them the truth.

“If you leave down the mountain, you will be dead and buried by the time the next leaves.”

But not the whole truth.

_Immortality comes with a price payed in blood. The gods can’t touch you here but if you leave i cant protect you from them. They will reap the youth from you. That is my punishment._

She would light a candle for every disipal that left and placed in the hall of remembrance.

It was her way of remembering those who she would not let return. They were still her family. She still loved them. But she would never see them again.

She had spent so long on the mountain that the two were inexplicably linked. She found out after Yanling Daoren left - _he hadn’t even told her in person. The wind had his farewell and apologies and she had ran to stop him… but the barrier was shut and there was nothing she could do but watch the carefree youth soar free._ \- that a flower garden had bloomed. So many flowers all the same shades of colour, so pale and beautiful. Over time the colors changed. Became darker and darker. Thorns sprouted and anyone who tried to pick them would come away hurt.

Then the garden burned. She had been sitting in the hall of remembrance and thinking about her disciples when the flame _(A bright gold)_ in the hall of remembrance had flared before extinguishing. No matter how much she tried she couldn’t relight it. Fear bloomed in her heart. Then the cries had summoned her from the hall. _“The mountain is on fire!” “no - just the garden…”_

She ran. Her Yanling Daoren’s garden burned, the flames golden and strong, and his flame was extinguished and -

The gods had claimed him.

She enters seclusion. 

She mourns.

She leaves seclusion. 

New disipals join her, lost children are led to her and she keeps them safe. 

Then her niece expressed her wish to leave and she wants to scream. _“You can’t. You will die. I can’t lose you as well.”_

But she doesn't. She can't. She won't force her to stay.

A week later she has a candle lit for Cangse Sanren. ( _It lights a deep purple_ )

The wind keeps her informed. 

She has good friends.

She is sought after by many, the rich and poor alike.

She has fallen in love.

She has married a servant.

She is pregnant.

You have a grandchild. Wei Ying. 

_(She lights a candle for the child she will never meet. It lights a deep red. She smiles. He has never been on the mountain. He at least will live a long life.)_

Then that purple flame extinguished. 

She wasn’t there when it happened. She was on a night hunt _(How ironic, she would learn later as the wind kept her informed.)_ and at the smell of smoke she had turned to see the billowing purple clouds where the lotus pond and lilies bloomed. Where the pink carnations had bloomed only a few years past and the Purple hyacinths which had only appeared that morning.

Then there is another time of peace. Disciples look out over the mountain and turn away. Some remember their elder disipal siblings whose flowers had grown and wilted, whose flames had died out. They turn away. 

(All but one)

The wind carries news. Her grandson has gone against them all in order to save a few. (Truly her niece's son)

The wind carries news. There is a boy, as close to a son as Wei Wuxian will have. A yuan. _(She lights another candle. Beside the red there is now a pale pink.)_

The wind carries news. Her grandson is dead. Murdered. 

She runs but he red flame is gone. 

The pink although dimmer still fights. She watches it carefully and as time passes it grows brighter.

The last person she had ever expected to approach her about leaving had been the young Xiao Xingchen. The brightest star in her sky of disciples.

A star she now knows is destined to fall. 

And so he leaves and a third candle is lit. A pure white flame with the slightest silver.

_(She hopes, desperately, hopelessly, that the third time will be different. That Xiao Xingchen will find happiness in what he does and joy in how he does it.)_

A valley of daisies spring up. She smiles and hopes.

It's later she notices the clusters of Rue and she can feel her heart break all over again.

And then…

And then the wind carries is screams and his begging. 

Please grandmaster… his eyes… save him and use my own…

The child is in love she presumes and she watches him crumble as his friend blindly lashes out _(I never want to see your face again)_

Time passes. 

Song Lan awakes full of desperation and regret and when he leaves she lights a second candle. (He spent too long here. The mountain recognises him as one of her own.)

It lights black and has a similar silver lining as Xiao Xingchen’s. She wishes them all the luck in the world before leaving to view the garden.

A wave of Iris spread out, intermingling with Xingchen’s daisies and she smiles. Maybe there is hope, never before have two disciples been down together. 

The next day Lilacs bloom. As do Gladioli (she hopes that meaning isn’t exact) 

Then the Red Dahlia appears and she knows deep in heart they are lost. Their flowers are so intertwined she cant tell whose are whose.

It's too short a time when the flowers die. 

At first they don’t die, they wilt. The daisies die and fold in on themselves. The Iris turn black and start to crumble.

The black flames appear and she bows her head. 

The next day the white flames grow and grow but the flowers don’t burn. 

She has never seen grief so bad before and when the flowers catch and burn it's like an explosion. The flowers fly and the soil turns black. All that remains are the Red Dahlia and a single Iris.

She glances at the single pink candle one day and stops short when she see’s the red is relit.

The wind sends word. It is true. People suspect he’s back. A different body - snatched people presume but he wind knows. _Offered_. It speaks of revenge and a plot so neferius… but she can’t help.

But her grandson is alive.

The flowers represent their souls and she learns later as the fierce corpse that was once her Xiao Xingchen’s closest friend bows at the barrier, he had shattered his own. A betrayal so great from a family he had thought he had found.

She leaves the shattered remains of Xingchen with Song Lan in the hopes it will bring the fractures peace. (He left here. She can’t take him back.) But she takes the spirit bag of the girl. Maybe in her next life she would like some peace. A quiet life. Zichen looks doubtful.

She takes the spirit locking pouch into one of the temples and lets her cultivation flow.

(One of the young couples has been trying for a baby for a while. They suspect they are unable but with the soul she can give them their wish.)

Time passes differently on the mountain. 

The wind carries news. Her grandson is getting married. She lights a third candle. Blue. 

She smiles. This is proof she hopes. That her family can survive off this mountain. 

Baoshan Sanren is immortal.

She is there when a golden flame relights one winter's day. And then a purple. She is there when a blast of power from far off is still felt and the white candle relights followed by the black. 

She is there when both the red and blue flames harden to ice. Immortal. Maybe now she will see her grandson. 

_How long has it been?_

But Baoshan Sanren is immortal and what is time to an immortal?


End file.
